I cant wait for the day you truly understand the miracle that you are. To be able to share my journals with you, my thoughts and prayers while you were in the NICU. The blanket I slept with every night that smelled like you. Holding on to every momento because I couldnt hold you.
Theres no greater sense of helplessness then to sit by your child in the hospital. For three long months I did this.
When asked which of the months were the hardest I couldnt answer. The first few weeks when we just didnt know... The middle weeks when infections were setting in... The last few weeks that felt like years, walking away and leaving my baby behind... Its all the hardest.
Why we participate in the March of Dimes?
For you Ezra.
I walk in honor and to celebrate you! Its our day to remember how far you've come!
I raise funds with the hopes that no mother will ever have to wait two weeks to hold her son for the first time.
To see her child too weak to breath on his own.
To sit by the quiet bedside of a child that makes no noise.
Some day Ezra you'll look at pictures and ask - is this really me? Maybe then you'll understand the times I grab you and hold on a little longer and a little tighter.