Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Preemie Mother's Oath

The following words are how I feel in so many ways.

I love you Ezra!

I have sat in the NICU and waited.
I have cried and prayed.
I have endured.

Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.

I will notice everything about my child.
I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover.
I will marvel at my surviving miracle every day for the rest of my life.

I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him. No taking another temperature, no alarm going off, another round of meds or because I am crying tears for fear of the unknown.
I will be happy because my baby is alive and crying out for me.

I count myself blessed in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see.

Whether I parent a preemie with physical challleges or medical issues, I will not be careless with my love.

I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain.

I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body.
I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.

I have prevailed.
I have succeeded.
I have won.

So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.

I listen.

And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes.

I have learned to appreciate life.

Yes I will be a wonderful mother.

Author Unknown


  1. My son was born 5 weeks early and now has autism. He is 10. he is my pride and joy. he is the sweetest boy. never would say a bad word about anybody. he has his challenges, but i would not replace him for the world. he is perfect, to me. i just found your lovely blog and bloged about you today even! you are on my sidebar now. hugs from hot hot hot arizona!

  2. What a wonderful miracle your little man is.

  3. wow, couldn't help but cry reading that post. Thank you for sharing those thoughts and feelings, it's very powerful.
    ~visiting and following from the crew~

  4. What a beautiful post! My twins were preemies too, so I know this feeling too.

  5. A wonderful post! I, too, birthed a preemie. My sweet daughter who is now 8 yrs old came at 32 weeks. We're so blessed to have her!

    Thanks for following my blog~following you back:)

  6. Thank you all for the comments!!! Lots of precious preemies out there!!
    My son Ezra was born 3 months early at 25 wks 6 days.
    He is 4 yrs old today and such a joy!

  7. Found you from Heidi's blog too! :) My WORD Ezra is four??? NO WAY! That can't be possible! I can't get over how big he was. Wow we prayed hard for that precious boy, and look what God has done! Happy Birthday Ezra...a little late! So glad you are alive! Nice to hear from you Crystal!

    Love, Kathy

  8. Hi , What beautiful words! Saying hello from New Friend Friday. Following you now. Praise God for your miracle.


  9. My daughter was born at 37 weeks weighing 5lbs 1oz due to pre-eclampsia she is now almost 7. My son was born at 29 wks weighing 1 lb 13 oz due to pre-eclampsia. (he passed away 26 days later due to complications). He would be 3. But none the less they are both my miracle babies and i think GOD everyday for them even for the short while I had my son.